Ally Guide for Friends & Family

Two women sitting against a yellow background, one wearing a blue gingham dress and glasses, the other in a white tube top and jeans.

Do you know someone who is being abused or you suspect is being abused? If your answer is yes, the Ally Guide is for you.

Domestic abuse survivors often choose to seek their friends’ and family’s help and support before calling the police or engaging services. A positive first experience talking about the abuse can make the difference between safety and increased isolation and entrapment for a loved one. Knowing what to say and what not to say can help you become a source of support and safety for your loved one.

This guide is to be used to assist you in supporting a loved one who is navigating domestic violence and coercive control. It is not meant to replace professional assistance, court orders, or involvement of law enforcement where appropriate. Rather, this guide is designed to provide you with information, language, and suggestions about how to respond to a very challenging, harmful, and potentially dangerous situation.