Beyond Co-Occurrence: The Interplay of Coercive Control, Suicide & Homicide
By David Mandel, CEO and Founder, Safe & Together Institute
Suicidal threats and actual suicides are a common co-occurrence of domestic abuse perpetrators’ pattern of coercive control. They are one of the most powerful threats a perpetrator can make. They play on the love and care of the person being abused. Even when there have been high levels of abuse and control, most survivors do not want to see their partner or ex-partner kill themselves.
Consider this scenario, based on a real example from my time doing men’s behavior change work:
He and his partner were arguing about their relationship. He declared that she didn’t love him, picked up a kitchen knife, and walked into the bathroom. Turning the water on, he wanted her to believe that he was going to kill himself in the bath. Instead of rushing to the door and declaring her love, which is what he wanted, she called emergency services. When the firefighters arrived and threatened to break down the door, he was chagrined to be found with a towel on, coming out of the shower. He never attempted to hurt himself. He only wanted her to believe he was going to hurt himself.
Beyond Co-Occurrence and Control
Threats of suicide often hold an added element of control when children are involved. The adult survivor is often keenly aware of the suffering that children may experience if the perpetrator, who may be a parent of the children, takes their life. All this is before we talk about the association between suicidal ideation and threats and increased risk of homicide.
Recent findings from the Queensland Domestic and Family Violence Death Review and Advisory Board’s 2023-24 report have shed light on this crucial aspect of domestic and family violence (DFV). It highlights the relationship between separation, homicide, and suicide. The report revealed that all persons using violence (PUVs) who died by suicide did so post-separation. Only half of the homicide cases occurred after separation. This pattern underscores the heightened risk during the separation period and calls for a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics.
This means that practitioners, especially mental health professionals, need to become more educated and skillful in assessing connections and co-occurrence among suicide ideation, suicide attempts, and coercive control. In many instances, assessments of depression and suicidality are more heavily or exclusively focused on the risk of self-harm. This needs to change. Domestic abuse–informed practice teaches us that the intersection of mental health issues and the perpetrator of coercive control is a critical aspect of mental health assessment and intervention.
Intersections
We can no longer afford to discuss the co-occurrence of mental health issues and domestic abuse. This doesn’t provide us with a sufficient roadmap to look at how these issues interact and intersect with one another. We need to see how mental health issues are used to deflect attention from perpetrators’ risk to others. Based on what we know, this is no longer acceptable mental health practice.
These findings collectively point to several critical implications for practice and policy:
Enhanced Risk Assessment: Tools and protocols for assessing DFV risk should incorporate measures of suicidality, recognizing it as both a risk factor for homicide and a concern in its own right.
Targeted Interventions: The period following separation should be recognized as high-risk for both homicide and suicide. Interventions should be designed to support both victims and perpetrators during this critical time.
Integrated Services: There's a clear need for better integration between mental health services and DFV support systems. This could involve cross-training of professionals and development of coordinated care pathways.
Research Priorities: Further research is needed to understand the psychological processes that lead some perpetrators to choose homicide, suicide, or both. This could inform more nuanced and effective prevention strategies.
Public Awareness: Efforts to educate the public about DFV co-occurrence should include information about the risks of perpetrator suicide, encouraging friends and family to take suicidal threats seriously and seek help.
In conclusion, addressing the intersection of DFV, homicide, and suicide requires a multifaceted approach that recognizes the complex interplay of factors involved. By incorporating these insights into our strategies for preventing and responding to DFV, we can work toward reducing both homicides and suicides in this context.
References
Queensland Domestic and Family Violence Death Review and Advisory Board Annual Report 2023-24. https://www.coronerscourt.qld.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0010/809056/dfvdrab-annual-report-23-24-final.pdf