From Crisis to Connection: How Safe & Together Can Support a Shift in Child Protection Practice
By Nic Douglas, European Regional Manager, Safe & Together Institute
It brings me untold joy to hear about the impact of Safe & Together on practice, so this blog will focus on a case study that shines a light on domestic abuse work done by Lauren and Katie, shared by Julie, one of our brilliant Safe & Together Certified Trainers at Hartlepool Borough Council.
Background
When Katie and Lauren first met the family, their situation was tough. Mam had five children with additional needs, was overwhelmed by the demands from agencies, and was living with the consequences of high-risk domestic abuse perpetration. Child protection proceedings were underway, and there were concerns about whether the children could remain safely in their mother’s care.
Eighteen months later, the family had stepped down to Early Help. The children were thriving, and Mam had transformed from someone who kept her head down and barely spoke to a confident parent who smiled, engaged openly, and had reconnected with her family.
What made the difference? The dedicated application of the Safe & Together Model combined with relationship-based practice delivered by a team who worked intensely to support the family.
Starting From Strengths, Not Deficits
Katie and Lauren began by truly seeing what this mother was managing: five different schools, multiple diagnoses, numerous agencies, all whilst living with the aftermath of persistent domestic abuse perpetration. Rather than viewing Mam’s defensiveness as resistance, they recognised it as an understandable response from someone who had spent years feeling blamed by services.
Pivoting Language and Understanding Behaviour
Katie and Lauren reviewed their danger statements and realised the language unintentionally blamed Mam. They rewrote them to pivot accountability back to the perpetrator’s behaviour, enabling a more accurate representation of the impact of the domestic abuse alongside the survivor’s strengths.
The umbrella metaphor supported their approach—with domestic abuse being the umbrella, and the “raindrops” that fall underneath the negative consequences it creates. Instead of asking, “Why are you drinking?” Lauren explored the feelings behind it: loneliness, stress, and exhaustion. When Mam engaged with the local domestic abuse service for the first time, she told Lauren she now understood abuse isn’t just physical—it can be emotional and psychological too.
The Golden Thread: Modelling Strengths-Based Practice
Safe & Together wasn’t just applied to the family—it was lived within the team. Katie created supervision spaces where Lauren could reflect honestly, reminding her that small changes are still changes and that hope must be held even when history feels heavy.
When other professionals used deficit-based language in meetings, Lauren had the confidence to bring them back and think solution-focussed. This “golden thread” of strengths-based practice, modelled consistently from management through to frontline work, created the conditions for lasting change.
Visible Transformation
The changes were visible. Mam began holding her head up, engaging, and smiling. This sense of dignity and respect changed everything; she opened up to support she had previously shut out, showing how the “buy-in” to us is the most important step in providing scope to do good work.
Home visits that once felt chaotic and tense became calm and welcoming. The children looked happier and more settled—they saw a mam who was calmer, more motivated, and emotionally present. They felt safe.
Lauren involved the children throughout. Through a Family Group Conference, the work helped repair relationships with Mam’s sister and her own mother, creating both emotional connection and practical safety nets.
What Made It Work
Slowing down instead of rushing to judgement: Taking time to build trust rather than making quick decisions
Seeing strengths before problems: Honouring Mam’s resilience and protective capacity in the context of abuse
Maintaining curiosity about behaviour: Exploring the trauma, fear, and isolation driving responses rather than simply labelling them as concerning
Consistency across practice levels: Embedding the approach in supervision, team culture, and organisational values
Willingness to reflect and adjust: Rewriting danger statements when they sounded blaming and holding hope when progress felt slow
The Outcome That Matters
Five children remained safely together with their mother. This happened because practitioners applied a model that understands domestic abuse, centres child safety through the non-abusing parent's protective capacity, and holds perpetrators accountable.
The work took 18 months, but that investment prevented family separation, supported healing, and created lasting change. As Mam said, she felt "listened to and not judged."
Why This Matters
Katie and Lauren’s work demonstrates that domestic abuse–informed practice can support positive outcomes for families. The transformation wasn’t just for this family—Lauren developed confidence and skill, and Katie strengthened her team’s practice. And five children are growing up in a home that feels safe, calm, and connected.
That’s the impact of Safe & Together when it’s truly lived, not just learnt.
Additional Resources
Safe & Together Institute’s domestic abuse–informed trainings
Safe & Together Institute’s upcoming events
David Mandel’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence
