Safe & Together: Practice That Is Effective and Ethical
By Steve Lock
“For there is always light,
if only we’re brave enough to see it,
if only we’re brave enough to be it.”
–The Hill We Climb, Amanda Gorman
Learning about the Safe & Together (S&T) Model and then using it in practice results in practitioners who feel more effective and confident in domestic abuse work—and more connected to an ethical foundation and their personal values.
In this context, three themes have emerged from my reflections and discussions with trainees and practitioners over the last nine years.
1. Safe & Together as Both Effective and Ethical Practice
To understand how S&T positively impacts our approach and emotions about domestic abuse work, it is necessary to understand the fundamental shift that the Model represents for many experienced practitioners. In my case, I’d describe this as a professional epiphany.
In 2015, I was a child protection worker with 25 years of experience in England, Scotland, and Australia. David Mandel, CEO of the Safe & Together Institute, came to Brisbane, where I was working at the time. He explained that our domestic abuse casework was focussing on the wrong things. David helped us see that we were preoccupied with assessing victims/survivors of domestic abuse, most of whom were mothers. He explained that we were enacting a systemic tendency to blame mothers for “failing to protect” their children. In that context, we focussed on their need to fix the problem.
David simply asked us to shift our focus to the perpetrator, who was usually male, and instead assess his behaviours. Then, assess the impact of these behaviours on the children and family functioning. David explained how our focus with the mothers should instead be on partnership and affirming their parental strengths. He made the (with hindsight, blindingly obvious!) point that the way to prevent harm to children and families was to address the patterns of perpetrator behaviour that caused this harm.
The Learning and Unlearning Needed for Effective and Ethical Practice
This simple shift changed so much about how I saw my casework with families. Noting that up to this point, I believed myself to be experienced and competent in my approach to domestic abuse. I believed I was entirely focussed on the best interests of children and their families. But I reflected that my former practice was ineffective and unethical. My preoccupation with the responsibility of mothers was both unfair and seriously misguided. I now understood that I was blaming them for the behaviours of the perpetrator (often the other parent). I realised that I was completely missing the “parenting choices” of the perpetrator parent. In making these mistakes, I was entirely failing to support the welfare and prevent harm to the children.
After this learning (and unlearning), my practice became very different. My practice focus has changed along with thousands of practitioners who benefit from S&T training. Our “new” practice is effective because the intervention is focussed on the perpetrator’s behaviour that is causing the harm and needs to change or be managed. These harmful patterns of behaviour are mapped and are the focus of accountability, risk assessment, and safety planning. It is the perpetrator (not the victim) who is engaged or managed towards change and ceasing their behaviour. The S&T practice is also fair and ethical. It focusses on perpetrator accountability rather than the social injustice of victim-blaming.
2. Safe & Together as Alignment to Personal and Professional Values
Practitioners come to their work with a set of personal and professional values. They usually tell me their values are rooted in humanitarian motives and various strands of social justice. Common examples are compassion, fairness, and equality. Sometimes, values are tracked to professional frameworks, such as in social work principles of self-determination, anti-oppression, and non-judgment, or in more systemic principles of human or children’s rights.
Many child protection professionals have told me they feel conflicted and uncomfortable with their domestic abuse work. Often, they “fight” with the people they want to help most. They believe strongly in helping people in vulnerable situations. Instead, they find themselves focussing on the problems and “failures” of mothers who are victims of domestic abuse. In response, they experience the mothers as hostile and as responding to them like they (the professionals) are the enemy. They worry that instead of helping families, they might be making things worse. Some practitioners link this helper/enemy dissonance to their feelings of professional hopelessness and even burnout.
The Paradigm Shift at the Heart of Effective and Ethical practice
The S&T paradigm shift from victim-blaming to partnership with victims and a focus on perpetrator accountability is important to how people feel about the moral meaning of their work. The shift leads to clarity and fairness in practice with families. Social workers have told me that adopting the practice principles of S&T reminds them why they entered the profession in the first place. They experience the practice shift as matching up to social work values such as anti-oppression, non-judgment, and social justice. It re-ignites their faith in the values of their profession and their relevance to their domestic abuse work with families.
3. Safe & Together as a Boost to Workforce Morale and Emotional Energy
When I started using S&T in 2015, I felt a new energy and motivation in my domestic abuse work. Subsequently, I have heard similar experiences from many professionals. In particular, the partnering work with victims/survivors of domestic abuse is inspiring to practitioners. The partnering work includes attention to the detail of the incredible strengths of mothers. Their parenting and dedication to their children are much more appreciated when seen in the context of the patterns of harm and disruption being caused by the perpetrator.
Professor Cathy Humphreys of University of Melbourne has used the term “vicarious resilience.” It describes how professionals supporting these mothers are inspired by the mothers’ strengths and capabilities. Caseworkers shared that seeing and hearing about the strength and capability of mothers in the face of abuse and family disruption is inspirational. Consequently, they have felt emotionally energised and experienced a sense of hope and resilience in relation to the stresses of a demanding caseload.
Perpetrator Patterns and Accountability
This sense of hope is enhanced by the S&T focus on perpetrator accountability and the attention given to coercive and controlling patterns of behaviour.
This is about what practitioners can now do and what they can now avoid doing more confidently. This is because, looking more closely at the behaviour patterns, it is likely that the tactics the perpetrator has used to manipulate systems will become visible. Many practitioners have told me they have come to see and feel indignant about their past practice. They have seen that previously, they were being used to abuse the victim/survivor further. They were inadvertently “blaming the victim” because the perpetrator had set them up to do this. I have heard from practitioners how important it is to them that the S&T Model means they will no longer fall into the traps the perpetrator has set. Practitioners have told me they feel empowered by the S&T paradigm shift and more confident and hopeful about their casework.
Conclusion
The three themes presented focus on my own experience and many discussions I have had with practitioners over the last nine years. I have described how the Safe & Together Model helps practitioners to feel more effective and also more ethically connected to their work. It is this merging of professional effective and ethical practice congruence that is reported as being a positive force for casework confidence and hope. This has also been described as a foundation for workforce resilience and improved morale. Ultimately, it can be the foundation for improved practice and improved outcomes for victims/survivors and their families.
Additional Resources
David Mandel’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence
Safe & Together Institute’s domestic abuse–informed trainings
Safe & Together Institute’s upcoming events
About the Author
Steve Lock has been a child protection social worker for 30 years and also a Safe & Together trainer for the last eight years. In Queensland, Australia (Domestic Violence Practice Leader, 2015-2022), he co-led the adoption and implementation of the Safe & Together framework.