The Myth of the Isolated Incident: A Safe & Together Perspective on Last Summer’s UK Riots and the Patterns Hiding in Plain Sight
By Nic Douglas, European Regional Manager, Safe & Together Institute
A recent Guardian article found that at least 41% of those arrested in last summer’s UK riots had previously been reported for domestic abuse, confirming what those of us working in domestic abuse have long understood: Perpetrator behaviour doesn’t exist in isolation. It is for this reason we urgently need to systematically identify and respond to patterns of perpetrator behaviour both within and outside of their intimate relationships.
One of the most harmful misconceptions about domestic abuse is that each incident exists in isolation—a “one-off” moment of lost control, a regrettable lapse in judgment, or a response to exceptional stress. This narrative fundamentally misrepresents the nature of perpetrator behaviour and enables systems to avoid meaningful accountability.
It means we fail to see how the perpetrator who “snapped” and hit his partner also systematically isolates her from friends and family, controls her finances, monitors her communications, and undermines her relationship with their children. We miss how an “anger management problem” doesn’t seem to affect a perpetrator’s interactions with colleagues, friends, or professionals.
Crucially, we overlook how perpetrator behaviour can connect across different spheres of life. Why would we assume that the perpetrator who has demonstrated a willingness to use abuse to achieve their aims in their family only uses such tactics within intimate relationships? I hear many examples from professionals working with perpetrators who’ve experienced their manipulation—everything from charm to sexual harassment, intimidation to threats. Nobody is immune.
Dismantling the Myth
The starkest statistic from the Guardian’s investigation was that fewer than a quarter of those with domestic abuse allegations were ever charged. When the system consistently fails to hold domestic abuse perpetrators accountable, we’re not just failing adult and child survivors—we’re creating conditions where perpetrators feel emboldened to abuse with impunity.
The irony is unmissable: Many of the men who claimed to be protesting about the horrific murders of three little girls in Southport had themselves been accused of abusing women. These men weren’t motivated by genuine concern for child safety; they were opportunistically using a tragedy to justify violence they were intent on enacting.
Through a Safe & Together lens, we understand that domestic abuse is never truly an isolated incident. Each act of violence sits within a broader pattern of power and control that includes psychological abuse, coercion, intimidation, and systematic undermining of the victim’s autonomy. The incident that comes to the attention of services is typically just the visible tip of an iceberg of ongoing abusive behaviour.
What This Means for Practice and Policy
From a Safe & Together perspective, this data demands fundamental changes in how we approach perpetrator accountability. We need systems that understand domestic abuse not as a private matter but as a public health issue with far-reaching implications.
We recognise that perpetrators make choices that are deliberate and strategic about when, where, and how to use violence. We therefore focus our efforts on trying to disrupt this behaviour and create opportunities for accountability—in recognition that failing to do so has detrimental consequences for families and communities.
This means training across all agencies to recognise perpetrator patterns across their life and understanding that the perpetrator who abuses their family may also engage in behaviours that extend beyond the home. It means recognising that our failure to respond effectively to domestic abuse ripples into schools, workplaces, and communities.
Whilst focusing on perpetrator accountability, we need to centre support for adult and child survivors, and for anyone else impacted by their behaviour. We owe it to them to create trusting relationships so that they can share their experiences, to believe them, and to ensure that perpetrator patterns are analysed with accountability in mind.
Whilst some perpetrators do contain abuse to the household, we must also recognise that many will have shown a propensity to violence and abuse elsewhere. Our multi-agency partners need the confidence and skills to be able to identify this and to recognise that perpetrator accountability isn’t just about individual justice—it’s about community safety. When we fail to hold perpetrators accountable in their homes, we shouldn’t be surprised when that violence spills into wider society.
Additional Resources
Safe & Together Institute’s domestic abuse–informed trainings
Safe & Together Institute’s upcoming events
David Mandel’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence
