The Safe & Together Model and Alternative Response: The Intersection of Domestic Violence and Substance Use
By David Mandel, CEO and Founder, Safe & Together Institute
Despite the prevalence of child welfare cases with intersection of domestic violence and substance use, most social workers still lack understanding of the relationship between the two issues. The co-occurrence of domestic violence and substance use/misuse is still plagued with misconceptions. Often, social workers’ assessments of these issues are simplified. Existing knowledge of perpetrators’ behavior patterns is not incorporated to improve practice. This lack of understanding interferes with the identification of either issue, thorough assessment, and development of a successful intervention plan.
The Safe & Together Model’s foundation has a focus on assessing the perpetrator’s patterns of behavior and the implications on child safety and well-being. It forms a powerful assessment that improves our work with families when this foundational approach is combined with setting high standards for fathers and uncovering the protective efforts of mothers.
The following are a few practical ideas and questions using a perpetrator pattern-based approach to the intersection of substance abuse and domestic violence. Use these to guide your assessment and improve positive outcomes for children and families.
1. Even if the domestic violence perpetrator is using substances at the time of an incident, do not assume that abuse only occurs when there is substance use.
Assess the pattern for abusive behaviors even when the person is not using substances. For example, you can ask a survivor: “How does your partner handle his jealousy when he is not drinking?” Or you might ask: “What is your partner’s parenting like when he is sober?” You can also ask the perpetrator: “How do you respond when your partner raises concerns about your use on the family’s finances?”
2. A pattern-based approach to assessing the impact of domestic violence perpetrator’s behavior invites the family to consider the impact of the times that the perpetrator uses substances and does not become abusive.
Once someone has demonstrated their capacity to become violent or abusive when using, family members may experience heightened anxiety or fear even when the violence or abuse does not occur. Assessments should include whether family members are impacted by the potential for abuse associated with drinking. For example, you could ask: “When your partner begins to drink, do you know if it will escalate into abuse?” And you could ask the perpetrator: “How is it for the children when you start drinking?” and “What do you think they worry about?”
3. A perpetrator’s pattern may involve interfering with their partner’s recovery efforts by influencing or encouraging their use of substances.
This might involve bringing drugs or alcohol into the house to sabotage recovery or forcing someone to use with them. Some perpetrators will make it hard for their partners to attend a treatment program or group. Two common tactics perpetrators use include accusations of cheating with program members or sabotaging their partner’s transportation to and from a program. Further, all of these tactics should be viewed as “parenting choices” by the perpetrator. If an abusive father sabotages his partner’s recovery, he’s choosing to make things less safe for his kids. When we assess his parenting, his choice to be abusive should be seen as a relevant factor.
4. Perpetrators’ domestic violence, substance use, and financial control may intersect.
Some perpetrator’s will use control to gain access over money and resources, like a car, in order to maintain their addiction. Others may use intimidation, threats, and manipulation to avoid the consequences of their uses. It is important to understand the connection between these behaviors and the impact they have on child and family functioning. For example, documentation should describe the impact his choice to take the car or spend money on drugs has on his family’s functioning. It is more likely to assume that unmet basic needs are the sole responsibility of the mother. For example, housing instability and inadequate food might appear to be the mother’s fault without the father’s pattern being specifically documented. This thinking effectively reduces or ignores the abusive father’s responsibility for his children’s safety and well-being.
5. Some perpetrators may be less dangerous when they are using.
Some partners may encourage their substance use or one type of use over another as part of a way to reduce situational risk. While on the surface this can be very challenging to workers, it is very important to remain pattern-based in our assessment of safety and well-being. Based on this specific perpetrator’s pattern, are the behaviors of the adult survivor reasonable? Are they part of active effort to manage safety for herself and her children? These efforts may not afford the children adequate safety and well-being due to the severity of the perpetrator’s behavior. However, it is important to see the adult survivor’s behavior in the context of the perpetrator’s pattern. This is an important starting point for engagement. This perspective can help develop a meaningful partnership with the adult survivor. It can also improve our capacity to intervene with the perpetrator around their parenting choices and behavior.
Additional Resources
Online Course: Intersections: When Domestic Violence Perpetration, Substance Abuse & Mental Health Meet
Safe & Together Institute’s domestic abuse–informed trainings
Safe & Together Institute’s upcoming events
David Mandel’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence