Season 5 Episode 8: The Myth of the Domestic Violence Incident

Jul 30

Written By

In this episode, David and Ruth speak about the “Myth of the Domestic Violence Incident” chapter of David's recently published book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform The Way We Keep Children Safe From Domestic Violence.

They discuss how an isolated incident lens:

Focuses systems interventions and professional responses on isolated acts of physical violence rather than on patterns of violence and coercive control, which blinds professionals and systems to the wider dangers created to adult and child survivors by a perpetrator
Makes it harder to see the loss of liberty and entrapment generated by the perpetrator’s pattern
Fails to document and address the danger and harm created by nonphysical acts of abuse and removal of liberty such as:
- Ongoing control directed at the adult partner
- Willingness to harm children as a way to pressure and hurt their partner
- The underlying attitudes and beliefs that entitle perpetrator to control and violence
- The manipulations of systems and threats or actual use of systems like family court and child protection to continue fear and control campaigns
How the Safe & Together Model helps identify entrapment, loss of liberty, and impact on child, partner, and family functioning to increase the awareness of professionals as to the patterns, trauma, and danger created by a perpetrator

Season 5 Episode 9: Partnering vs. Practicing: The Hidden Bias in Professional Crisis Work