When Perpetrators Push Back: Why Increased Resistance Signals You’re On the Right Track
By Leah Vejzovic, LMSW, North America Regional Manager, Safe & Together Institute
When child welfare agencies begin implementing a perpetrator pattern–based approach, as is embedded in the Safe & Together Model, something interesting—and sometimes unsettling—often happens: Perpetrators start pushing back harder than before. Complaint calls to agencies increase. Perpetrators become more vocal about their grievances. Some become more aggressive in their interactions with workers.
For agencies new to this approach, this escalation can feel alarming. The natural question arises: “Are we doing something wrong? Should we pull back from this new way of working?” The answer is a resounding no. In fact, this pushback is often a sign that you’re finally addressing the right person—the one creating the risk of harm.
Understanding the Shift
For years, many child welfare systems have inadvertently enabled perpetrators’ deflection tactics. When it came to domestic violence cases, the focus often shifted to the adult survivor: Why doesn’t she leave? Why isn’t she protecting the children? What is she doing wrong? This approach allowed perpetrators to remain largely invisible in all areas of the case work, avoiding accountability while their partners bore the weight of system scrutiny.
Perpetrators have grown comfortable with this dynamic. Their strategies of avoidance, denial, and deflection have been remarkably effective at keeping child welfare attention away from them. They’ve learned that if they stay out of sight, the system will focus its intervention efforts on their partners instead.
But when agencies implement a perpetrator pattern–based approach, this comfortable dynamic shifts dramatically. Suddenly, workers are:
Actively seeking out perpetrators for engagement
Documenting their patterns of violence and control
Holding them accountable for behavior change
Including them in case planning and service requirements
No longer accepting “I can't find him” as an acceptable excuse
This shift naturally disrupts perpetrators’ established patterns of system avoidance—and many don’t like it.
Why Pushback Actually Indicates Progress
When perpetrators begin pushing back more aggressively, it’s often because our systems are finally doing what they should have been doing all along: focusing intervention efforts on the person whose behavior is creating the danger. This resistance can manifest in several ways:
Increased complaints to supervisors or administrators about worker conduct
More aggressive behavior during interactions with workers
Attempts to manipulate the system by presenting themselves as cooperative while sabotaging their partner’s case plan
Threats or intimidating behavior toward workers
Attempts to discredit workers through formal complaints to licensing bodies or elected officials
While these behaviors are concerning and must be taken seriously, they also represent something significant: The perpetrator can no longer hide in the shadows, avoiding engagement, accountability, and meaningful behavior change work.
The Temptation to Retreat
When faced with this pushback, agencies may feel tempted to retreat to their previous practices. The increased complaints and aggressive behavior can feel overwhelming, especially for systems already stretched thin. Administrators may question whether the new approach is worth the additional conflict.
This temptation is understandable but misguided. Pulling back from perpetrator engagement doesn’t make families safer—it simply returns the system to a state where the person creating the danger operates without accountability. The survivor returns to bearing the full weight of system expectations while the perpetrator’s behavior continues unchecked. This is a negative outcome for everyone involved, especially the children.
The Path Forward: Preparation and Protection
The solution isn’t to abandon the perpetrator pattern–based approach but to anticipate and prepare for this increased pushback. Agencies implementing the Safe & Together Model must proactively address worker safety concerns and establish protocols before the practice shift occurs.
Before Implementation:
Conduct comprehensive training on perpetrator patterns, including their responses to outside intervention
Establish clear protocols for worker safety in domestic violence cases
Create reflective supervision processes that specifically address safety concerns
Develop criteria for determining when it’s unsafe to meet with perpetrators
During Implementation:
Regularly assess perpetrators’ history of violence toward professionals and outside interveners
Partner with adult survivors to understand potential risks of perpetrator engagement
Establish safety plans for interviews, including location considerations and backup support
Create systems for immediate supervisor notification when safety concerns arise
Ongoing Support:
Foster a culture where workers can express safety concerns without fear of being seen as unable to do their job
Provide regular supervision focused on the intersection of worker safety and perpetrator engagement
Develop partnerships with law enforcement for high-risk cases
Consider multi-disciplinary teams for cases involving additional criminal behavior
Critical Supervision Questions
Supervisors should regularly ask workers in domestic violence cases:
What do we know about this perpetrator’s pattern of responding to outside interveners?
What safety concerns does this information raise for us?
Are there gaps in our knowledge about his pattern toward outsiders?
How are we partnering with the adult survivor around how our involvement may impact safety?
Do we have concerns about the perpetrator targeting you based on your demographics?
Reframing the Narrative
When perpetrators push back against increased accountability, agencies must resist the urge to view this as a failure of the new approach. Instead, consider reframing this resistance as evidence that:
You’re disrupting established patterns that have allowed perpetrators to avoid accountability
You’re finally addressing the source of the family’s safety concerns
The perpetrator recognizes that business as usual is no longer acceptable
Your intervention is having an impact on someone who has been used to operating without consequence
Moving Forward with Confidence
Implementing a perpetrator pattern–based approach requires courage, preparation, and persistence. The initial pushback from perpetrators, while challenging, should not deter agencies from this essential work. Instead, it should reinforce the importance of:
Thorough preparation before implementation
Robust worker safety protocols
Strong supervisory support
Clear organizational commitment to the approach
Ongoing training and skill development
The goal isn’t to avoid conflict with perpetrators—it’s to create accountability for the person whose behavior is creating danger while ensuring worker and family safety throughout the process.
Resources for Implementation
For agencies considering or implementing the Safe & Together Model, comprehensive planning around worker safety is essential. The position paper “Worker Safety and Domestic Violence in Child Welfare Systems” provides detailed guidance on developing safety protocols, supervision strategies, and organizational changes that support both effective perpetrator engagement and worker protection.
Remember: When perpetrators push back against increased accountability, it’s often a sign that you’re finally holding the right person responsible for creating change. The challenge isn’t to retreat from this work but to do it safely and strategically, with the full support of organizational leadership and robust safety measures in place.
The families you serve—and the children whose safety depends on effective intervention—deserve nothing less than your continued commitment to addressing the actual source of danger in their lives.
Additional Resources
Online Course: Worker Safety and Domestic Violence in Child Welfare Systems
Safe & Together Institute’s comprehensive domestic abuse–informed trainings
David Mandel’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence
